Waiting

The realization has come that I am quite ridiculous. So often I find myself acting like an impatient child saying, "God, are we there yet?" Along with so many other Christians, I am always wanting to know the immediate next step and every five steps to follow in search of this elusive mystery we call the will of God.

As I sat there fumbling through my plans for life with the Bible in one hand, a Spurgeon book in the other, and a mind full of impatient questionings, it hit me that I'm wasting away this portion of what God has for my life right now. Why do I fret about what I do not know? Why do I worry over a future that my Lord has in His wisdom hidden just beyond sight?

Speaking of sight, the passage of Scripture that surfaced all of the evidence of my patience, or lack thereof, deals with the beloved apostle Paul. On his way to Damascus, Christ called him out and changed his life forever. Paul was commanded, "Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." How silly it would have been if Paul had said, "Okay, God...but could you just maybe give me a hint of what I'm supposed to do after that?" Paul's instruction was to go into the city and there wait for further instruction. He wasn't told how long he would have to wait or what general "field" he was being called into. To add to the matter, Paul's eyesight was stricken from him but we find no evidence of arguments or pleadings for understanding. Instead, we discover that Paul went ahead to the city and was "three days without sight" when God gave him his next step.

What am I trying to say? Basically, God does the same thing in every believer's life. For myself, being here at college is my time to "go into the city" and wait on the Lord. What is so wrong with just letting God be God and trust that He will reveal what He wills in His timing? Why must we always strive to have all the answers and plans when in all reality, we are His, so the when and where and how is all His business anyway.

So it has become my prayer that while I'm waiting, to soak up everything this section of my life has to offer. May I stop wishing away this precious last year here and focus on what the Saviour has to teach me in this stage of uncertainty and wishy-washy dreams and desires. Like David, I ask of God, "Teach me to do Thy will; for Thou art my God: Thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness."