Two Years

Two and a half years ago a young man sat across from me on a picnic bench and laid his heart out on the line. I’ll never forget him trying to engage my distracted self into a conversation about the future - about us. I’ll also never forget the way it hit me when I realized exactly what he was suggesting and just how serious he was being.

I can't imagine the look of shock on my face as I stared at him.

Russ was my friend.

When I was being the biggest grouch in the world, he was there to ignore my grouchiness. When I was following my own choices instead of the Lord’s, he was calmly praying for God’s will in life. When I smacked him with a ping pong paddle (that’s another story) he was there to laugh at my embarrassment. When our group was in the mood for a healthy debate, he was there to argue with us all. He was my friend. A good friend.

I never could have imagined that the Lord would take our friendship and mix it into the wonderful journey that is marriage. In fact, when the crazy man asked me to pray about pursuing a relationship, it was like an anvil being dropped on my head. Russ was right there all along just being my friend. It was an “Oh, there you are,” sort of moment. 

And you know what I’m realizing more and more? The friendship that drew us together is the friendship that keeps us close together.

He can tell me when I’m being a pain. He can point out to me the other side of the story when all I can see is my own frustration and hurt. He puts up with my sad attempts at humor and laughs at my jokes any way. Because our love is rooted in our friendship it goes so much deeper than just romance.

 I have heard about the hard adjustments some experience when they are newly married. For us, it was sort of like a piece of the puzzle fitting. We spent just about every day of two school years together as friends, three months apart as boyfriend/girlfriend, and three months engaged long-distance. Marriage, for us, was sort of like coming home.

It’s hard to believe we’ve been married two years.
It has been a beautiful, sorrowful, joyful, growing two years.

We have faced things (and are still facing things) no couple in the early twenties ever expects to face. I am so incredibly thankful to have his shoulder to cry on when my heart is repetitively broken. I have his hand to hold in that half-asleep dreamy state of three in the morning. I have his laughter to warm my heart. We’ve learned. We’ve loved. We’ll keep learning and loving and trusting God.

I’m so blessed, truly, with this man.

Happy Anniversary, sweet Russell.

When Life Doesn't Go Our Way

"I was to discover, however, that when I took my eyes off the circumstances that were overwhelming me, over which I had no control, and looked up, my Lord was there, standing on the parapet of heaven looking down. Deep in my heart He whispered, "I'm here. Even when you don't see Me, I'm here. Never for a moment are you out of My sight."- Darlene Deibler Rose

If I were to share with you today what was in my heart it'd be ugly. Really ugly. I get so wrapped up in the hurts and disappointments of my own life that I let it turn my focus off of things that matter. It's ugly and it is so wrong.

Instead of praying for more faith, I pout about having no table of my own to put a few fall pumpkins on. I don't thank the Lord for the blessings He's bestowed on others but rather beg for similar blessings to be bestowed on us. Rather than ask the Lord for a kind heart, a sweet spirit, and a burden for people, I mull through the day to day wishing for a "someday".

God knew these struggles before I ran into them. He knew that we would stumble into the murky fogs of uncertainty. He knew that in order to get out of the brambles of doubt we'd have to take a step (or a lot of steps) of faith. I thank Him that He has promised to give more grace.

I need to retrain my heart to think on important things. Things like God and my husband and ministry and loving the life that the Lord has given me. I need to remember to hand everything over to the One who is ready and willing to not only take our burdens, but to give us the joy to sustain us along the road.

I do praise Him abundantly for His provision and also for His everlasting patience with this sulky, rotten child of His. He has always been faithful and He will be again and again. How blessed I truly have been! So in this month of thankfulness, I pray the Lord will continue to teach me to be content in every situation. I truly do long to have a thankful heart.

What are you focusing on this November? Please share.

"Teach me to do Thy will; for Thou art my God: Thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness." - Psalm 143:10

Pray for me friends!

Forgotten Prayers

                                         
















Sometimes we need just a little answered prayer.

Sometimes we pray and pray and pray and feel as if the Lord is simply not saying anything at all.

I feel like that sometimes.

I pray for one thing over and over. I know He knows the desires of my heart and that He has all  the power to answer that prayer. But He doesn't.

And that's okay. He is God and He knows best but sometimes, all the time, this sinful heart of mine feels disappointed.

It is in the midst of such disappointments that the Lord reveals to me a little more of Himself.

Russell and I recently returned from our survey trip to the country of Norway. Every mountain and fjord there point to the awesomeness of our Creator. I was looking forward to the possibility of seeing the Aurora Borealis and was a bit saddened to learn upon our arrival that the Northern Lights were out of season. With a shrug I whispered a quick prayer that the Lord might still allow us to see them. I then forgot about that prayer and focused on our trip.

Weeks later, north of the Arctic Circle, my husband came running down the hill in a frantic, arm-waving, yelling fit. I ignored him, of course, until he threw open the RV door and shouted for me to get outside. Barefoot and without a jacket I tumbled out of the trailer and tears filled my eyes as we looked up to see ribbons of green dancing across the twilight sky.

Wow.

What an overwhelming peace and calm assurance of the reality of my God. It was as if He was saying to me, "I'm here. I hear your prayers. I still answer them and I do care."

He heard a quiet, forgotten prayer and saw fit to answer it. There is nothing better than the reassurance that He's listening.

My "big" prayers may continue to go unanswered and I will likely still struggle with that now and again but I will keep this Northern Lights reminder close to my heart. I hope I will never forget, even in the middle of the trials and storms, how He answered.

We serve such an amazing God. It is so foolish of us to ever doubt His love and care for those He has so readily called His own. The beauty and awesomeness of the Aurora Borealis only reflect the wondrous greatness of the Maker.

" That ye...May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen." - Ephensians 3:19-21

Keep praying, my friends!

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