Whispers

At this current moment, my feet are propped up on a big rock next to a pleasant little fire that is cackling away. The only sound I hear is the distant hum of the highway muffled by the sound of crickets. Glancing up from my seat, the brightest moon I've ever seen is gleaming down at me through the dusky fall leaves. And tonight...I'm thankful. A bit melancholy and thoughtful too, but still, thankful.

Sometimes I breeze through life with days that jumble together like a puzzle that's been dumped from its box. None of the pieces really appear to fit and I just push on through the assignments that are due, the trivial issues my position here at the school presents, and the business. All the while those quiet wishes and hopes I have are bunkered down until those couple of moments when I whisper them to my Saviour before falling asleep each night. Only, those few painfully honest prayers before bed are left behind as soon as the sun rises each morning and the cycle begins again.

But tonight, I'm sitting here in the quiet of this absolutely gorgeous night and I mull through all those thoughts that I have no time for during most days. It's nice sometimes, to just calm down and have a heart-to-heart with the Lord and realize that all along He has just been waiting for me to share it with Him. He sits here beside me and comforts, "Oh, child, have I not promised, come unto Me, and I will give you rest?" So, I gather all the emotions, questions, misunderstanding, and more, and hand them over to His capable hands. It's these kind of moments I sit back and realize, "Hey...I'm alright." Not because of me, I only tend to muddle things up all the more, but because of a God who does all things well.

The realization of these thoughts and promises brings sweet hymns and verses to mind and I smile as they are hummed here in the darkness. I like these quiet times with Him, they ease all of the anxiousness for whatever it is I'm waiting for and leave a contentment only He can bring.

Nights like these whisper with the calm assurance of the promise that God is so good. And that makes nights like these precious.

Friends

Sometimes, I tend to float through life without taking much stock in what a tremendous blessing and resource the Lord has given to me. So for today, it is needed to take a little time and a little space here to just say thank you to some of the insanely special friends I've been given. Please do not be upset if you are a friend of mine and aren't mentioned here. God has put so many wonderful people in my life, I simply couldn't list them all here! These are, however, a few that have been on my heart recently and are some of the nearest and dearest!
                                                                              
Esther: You are my heart, my sister, my always and forever best. It's crazy to think so much time has passed since we've been in close proximity but somehow it doesn't matter how far apart we are, we still know each other like the back of our own hands. After all, you know me better than I know myself most days. There are hardly any memories I have of growing up that don't have you in them and I look back at our times as some of the most precious things I've ever had. I do so love you and look forward to seeing you super soon!

Serah Leigh: There isn't a day that goes by that I don't giggle over something we've done, something you've said, or get a reminder that I miss you fiercely. You are my smile, my joy, and you are forever that little voice of blatant honesty that always brings me back to reality. I'm so glad we ended up being at school for a semester together, I feel like I know you so much better after having shared that experience and those memories only make me love and miss you more. I don't think I've ever told you how much I really miss you being here with me. Keeping smiling like only you can. I love you, Portie, and can't wait until we can just laugh together again in person.

Crazy-Ann: Sometimes it still baffles me how wonderfully good God was to put a kindred spirit such as yourself in my life. It doesn't seem so long ago that we were at school together and even now I smile thinking of the times we shared. How precious it is to have a friend to just pour out my heart to and know that you understand and will always bring the solution and the glory back to our Saviour. I am so so thankful for your presence, wisdom, and comfort when I came down to visit your Honduras. You mean so much to me, Ann, and I have no doubt that no matter how much time or contact passes between our visits and chats, that we will always remain kindred friends.

Emilee Jayde: There is no one in the world quite like you and it's so sweet to have you as my friend. I think of you so often and I am so proud of you for standing up for what you know to be right and for following through with everything the Lord has given you to do. You have a such a tender heart for the Lord that is mingled with the resilience to stick to it and I so admire that in you! Sometimes I even hear that accent of yours when I think of you and it never fails to bring a smile to my face. I only wish we could spend more time together but maybe someday soon! Love you, Emmy!

Sarah H: You are such an example to me and I'm so thankful for our friendship! Not to mention almost every day I miss you being here in Ohio with me. Sometimes I want to just open my closet and find you rummaging through for a new outfit. It's so amazing to see you just take off right where God has placed you and I can only pray for the same good attitude and consistency that you exemplify! You never fail to pour out your heart, resources, and talents into anything the Lord gives you and I know He is honored through you in so so many ways. Thanks for being for there me this summer, you've helped me more than you can ever know.

Katelyn, Bruce, and Russell: Don't any of you get a big-head because you're on here! There are few in this world who can sit for hours debating and arguing about anything and everything and yet still be such jolly good friends like we are...and like we do. I truly am so grateful that the three of you are with me at school right now and that we've pulled together. Thank you for your accountability, the discussions we so frequently have and enjoy, and for simply loving God and desperately wanting to serve Him like you do. Despite popular belief, you guys are great. Let's do Starbucks sometime again soon.

To all my other friends and followers, thank you too! So often you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

And you know what? God simply gave me the best friends a girl could ever ask for!

Waiting

The realization has come that I am quite ridiculous. So often I find myself acting like an impatient child saying, "God, are we there yet?" Along with so many other Christians, I am always wanting to know the immediate next step and every five steps to follow in search of this elusive mystery we call the will of God.

As I sat there fumbling through my plans for life with the Bible in one hand, a Spurgeon book in the other, and a mind full of impatient questionings, it hit me that I'm wasting away this portion of what God has for my life right now. Why do I fret about what I do not know? Why do I worry over a future that my Lord has in His wisdom hidden just beyond sight?

Speaking of sight, the passage of Scripture that surfaced all of the evidence of my patience, or lack thereof, deals with the beloved apostle Paul. On his way to Damascus, Christ called him out and changed his life forever. Paul was commanded, "Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." How silly it would have been if Paul had said, "Okay, God...but could you just maybe give me a hint of what I'm supposed to do after that?" Paul's instruction was to go into the city and there wait for further instruction. He wasn't told how long he would have to wait or what general "field" he was being called into. To add to the matter, Paul's eyesight was stricken from him but we find no evidence of arguments or pleadings for understanding. Instead, we discover that Paul went ahead to the city and was "three days without sight" when God gave him his next step.

What am I trying to say? Basically, God does the same thing in every believer's life. For myself, being here at college is my time to "go into the city" and wait on the Lord. What is so wrong with just letting God be God and trust that He will reveal what He wills in His timing? Why must we always strive to have all the answers and plans when in all reality, we are His, so the when and where and how is all His business anyway.

So it has become my prayer that while I'm waiting, to soak up everything this section of my life has to offer. May I stop wishing away this precious last year here and focus on what the Saviour has to teach me in this stage of uncertainty and wishy-washy dreams and desires. Like David, I ask of God, "Teach me to do Thy will; for Thou art my God: Thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness."