As I float through my final months of college, the question
of "what next" seems to plague daily conversation. Good-meaning
people and their curiosities instantly and always make me uncertain. Of course, their intentions aren't to set
this over-planning brain into panic mode but that's exactly what occurs. And
so, I shrug and give a little chuckle and assure them, as well as myself, that
God will direct me and that even though I don't really know where I'm going or
what I'm doing, it'll all be okay.
God has not called us to know it all. That's right. This life isn't some quest on the search for omniscience. It is however, a journey of trust and reliance upon the One who understands, realizes, and created the road ahead. As simple as this sounds, the whole unsure part is really hard to swallow.
My grandfather once asked me as a teenager what I planned on doing with my life. As a teen who already had the propensity to plan, this left me fumbling for the right answer, or the one that made the most sense. He just smiled and shrugged, "Don't worry about it, I don't even know what I want to do." This boggled my brain. This man with graying hair and the best grandpa beard ever, this late in his life, was still unsure?
Now I have come to realize that everyone's unsure. The book of James tells us that we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Therefore, the only day I truly need to worry about is...today.
Today, I will finish my coffee, go to class, mull over the sweetness of finding a flower planted last spring sprout up, ponder on John 20 and Psalm 40, and enjoy the beautiful spring atmosphere that my God has created (with a lot of sneezing and itching eyes, unfortunately).
God's teaching me. It's hard sometimes and the majority of the lessons seem to be pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Still, He's teaching me nonetheless, and it's so so good to know that all my uncertainty can rest in the hands of the All-knowing.
God has not called us to know it all. That's right. This life isn't some quest on the search for omniscience. It is however, a journey of trust and reliance upon the One who understands, realizes, and created the road ahead. As simple as this sounds, the whole unsure part is really hard to swallow.
My grandfather once asked me as a teenager what I planned on doing with my life. As a teen who already had the propensity to plan, this left me fumbling for the right answer, or the one that made the most sense. He just smiled and shrugged, "Don't worry about it, I don't even know what I want to do." This boggled my brain. This man with graying hair and the best grandpa beard ever, this late in his life, was still unsure?
Now I have come to realize that everyone's unsure. The book of James tells us that we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Therefore, the only day I truly need to worry about is...today.
Today, I will finish my coffee, go to class, mull over the sweetness of finding a flower planted last spring sprout up, ponder on John 20 and Psalm 40, and enjoy the beautiful spring atmosphere that my God has created (with a lot of sneezing and itching eyes, unfortunately).
God's teaching me. It's hard sometimes and the majority of the lessons seem to be pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Still, He's teaching me nonetheless, and it's so so good to know that all my uncertainty can rest in the hands of the All-knowing.
"Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands." - Elisabeth Elliot
"Blessed
are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be
hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from
that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will
know what His will is."
– Amy Carmichael
