Wait

I stumbled across this poem just today. It fit so well into what has been going on in my life and it brought conviction. How impatient I am when I surely should be trusting only on God! I don't know who wrote it originally but it definitely is worth reading! "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." - Psalm 27:14

                                                 

Wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait." 

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign. 

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply." 

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?" 

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

- Author Unkown

Plans and Rejoicings

Just thought I'd give a brief update on everything that has been going on as of late!

Winter continues on here in Wyoming, though the past week has brought some welcomed warmer weather!

Russ and I should have something up and running in the next few weeks to inform everyone about our upcoming survey trip planned for this August. Lord-willing, we will fly into Stavanger, Norway in mid-August and stay through mid-September. During that time, we plan to gain information from veteran missionaries and also travel around the country. Our goal is to zero in on exactly where in the country the Lord would have us to begin our ministry down the road! Please pray for the logistics, the finances, and also for guidance for this trip! We are so excited about it already! We will be attending Missionary Training School through Points North Baptist Mission the week before we head out.

Also in the month of August, we will be pulling out with a tiny trailer in tow to move from Wyoming back to Ohio. While we are sad to leave such a beautiful state, we know that God would have us to be in a more central location as we start deputation (Lord-willing!) at the end of this year. We will be looking for employment and housing as soon as we return back from our survey trip. We know this is what the Lord has for us so we trust Him to provide as we take this leap of faith.

At the present, we are just plugging away with work and church ministries.We have many things to work on and prepare and we pray for the discipline and resources to get everything finished!

The Lord has been so very good to us. He continues to meet and provide not only our needs but also above and beyond. A thought has recently lodged itself into my mind as of late and it has been both an encouragement and also a challenge. "A rejoicing heart will never produce complaining speech."I pray the Lord will continue to help me see the blessing He has bestowed and not to dwell on the things that lack.

Stay encouraged!

Pretty Earrings and Men-Pleasers

This has been sitting in my "unpublished posts" for months.

It isn't a flowery post and it speaks far too much of my own faults and failures to be comfortable to write or read. It points fingers. It frustrates and encourages at the same time.

I'd like to write about something that I struggle with every single day. Do I do what I do to please God? Or do I question every action I take in order to please other people?

I like pretty earrings. Dangling big shiny earrings. I'm not talking about anything the size of a pie plate but they aren't tiny diamond studs either. I've always liked them. Not to draw attention to myself or to make my appearance look better but because I think they're feminine, dressy, and simply pretty.

However, every time I get ready to go out or go to church, I pull out a pair of those earrings and question whether I should wear them or not. Not because my conscience is convicted against them, not because I think they're inappropriate or too flashy, but because what will other Christians think of me wearing them.

My inner monologue usually goes something like this:

"These will match this outfit. I like these earrings."
"But...would a missionary wife wear them?"
"There isn't anything wrong with them."
"I probably won't be able to wear them on deputation...people will think I'm not conservative enough."
"Who cares what they think?"
"Well, I guess I'm supposed to look the part of a missionary so...I shouldn't."
"Wait, I'm just going shopping, not church, so they'll be fine."
"Why I am I even doing this to myself?!"

And the earrings either end up back in the jewelry box or in my ears depending on which side wins that particular argument for the day.

Something occurred to me the other day though and while I hope it will end my struggle over those earrings, I know better.

Fact is, when it comes to other people, you can't win. Ever.

Someone will always think something about you isn't right. They may have an issue with your hairstyle, your choice of shoes, what kind of car you drive, the way you raise your children, whether you paint your nails or not, and yes, even the kind of jewelry you wear. Some even go as far as to comment on how many children you do or do not have! If you're a missionary, all of this is accelerated to a whole other level.

I'm not going to turn this post into a judge or don't judge issue. That isn't what it is about. What I am saying is, if my choice whether or not to wear those earrings is based on what other Christians may or may not think of me then I need to evaluate who I'm seeking to please.

If I feel convicted about the type of jewelry I wear because I believe the Lord is telling me no, then I have the responsibility to not wear them. If they are a stumbling-block in some way to another then I should question my decision. If it's because I'm afraid what other Christians will think of my walk with the Lord...then I have a bigger issue than the earrings.

When talking about a woman's outward adorning, the Bible says, "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

That meek and quiet spirit that comes from within is beautiful to God and it certainly doesn't come from conforming to what other people think I should do. Instead, it comes from a quiet heart that is willing to obey Him in every aspect of life and to follow His leading even when deciding on my jewelry.

It is my heart's desire that others will look at me and see beyond the earrings to a peaceful, Spirit-filled heart. Maybe if my character reflects enough of Christ, they won't even worry about my "pretty earrings" to begin with and will instead crave to better know the Jesus that saved me and made me His child.

Ultimately, I should worry less about the earrings and more about my heart.

I don't know. This whole post isn't written very well and I feel even as I finish up that my true intent or purpose hasn't come through. It's a muddled mess in my mind still but I don't know how else to put it. Perhaps my feelings on the whole matter are completely backwards?

Any thoughts?